Woman: Can I have birth control?
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
Yummy yummy gluten
Context: Steve has started a gluten free diet, I am sitting next to him enjoying a bacon egg and cheese SANDWICH
Steve: How's your sandwich?
Steve: (low voice) Tell me about the bread
me: (whispering) its so toasty....and....buttery...and....warm....bready....cheesy....mmmmm
Steve: You are soooo bad... (x.x)
FIVE MINUTES LATER:
Steve: I cant do this!
An Ocean Away
I’m jumping ahead six timezones just to try to leave you behind, can’t get you out of my mind.
Soooo I'm going to France to do some art, help... →